Half-Vast Ideas 2: Electric Boogaloo

Electric say what?

Back in the day, and I mean spinning on our backs in the day, the hip 80s crowd couldn't wait for the smash follow-up to the movie Breakin'.

Its title was to be Breakin' 2 : Electric Boogaloo.

So bad was this movie, I mean it makes Gigli and (since it has been previously commented) Norbet look like Oscar Winners. So bad that it will forever lend its subtitle to all subsequent sequels.  They must EARN their way out of Electric Boogaloo.

Now I hardly expect that my second random post could ever exceed the epicness that was the original Half-Vast Ideas post.


Donate Your Car to the Blind, What?!

So I'm listening to the radio, normally my ADHD kicks in at about the same time as the first commercial after a 2 song mega-block of music has concluded. I will begin pushing the buttons quickly to see if a stray beat will escape in the midst of said hectic pandemonial button pressing.  For some reason, perhaps raging ADHD caused me to stay on a channel too long, and what I heard was unbelievable. 

"Donate your old car to the blind, today!  Get a tax incentive." 

Wait, what?!? Clunkers for blind people? Is this so that as they learn to drive, they can total an old clunker instead of their first new car? Clearly, they need to use the drive-up ATM. Because the blind are notoriously bad getaway drivers when you want to knock over a bank.

I'm just thrilled that they didn't spell cars wrong like the oh so annoying K-A-R-S for Kids advertisement.  It's like a bad Telly Tubbys show gone awry, there's singing and bad spelling, but in the end it is all for love of children.

So, before you get this wrong impression of me, my brother-in-law is blind.  His vision was lost due to excess scar tissue forming after his retinas detached dues to his lifelong diabetes. Anyway, he's the most chillaxed blind dude ever and his twisted sense of humor about it is great.  He is often heard poking a bit of fun with an occasional "I didn't see them (him, her, it) " when someone is looking for keys for instance.  

Anyway, he moved from Colorado to be nearer to his sisters and dad after his vision was gone.  After he had been here a while, it was decided that we needed to go across country to get his stuff.  So we loaded up the van, hitched  the trailer and headed from the east coast to the Rocky Mountains. It was my dad, my father-in-law, my brother-in-law and myself.  The plan was to drive straight through switching drivers every few hours. (it was a bad plan)

Well into the second night, I was driving and the dads were holding the snores to a minimum while my bro "co-piloted" and kept me alert.  Somewhere in Kansas we decided to be cute and I stopped for a bio-break.  I threw on my sunglasses (it was night) and grabbed his cane and stepped from the drivers door to head into the store.  I did my best to keep the act up and upon stepping inside I asked where the maps were... (yeah it was THAT epic) to which the guy behind the counter said "over there" as he pointed to ... Well does it matter where he pointed??? My elaborate scheme went up in smoke in a matter of his few IQ points.

We did decide that my B-I-L probably could have driven across Western Kansas and Eastern Colorado.

Friday Eve and Other Weekend Extenders

After reading a 63 hour blog on ThisIsNotThatBlog about how weekends are too short, I decided to add a new item to your lexicon.  Now I have to give the C in a circle up to my boss (John) for this one, but it was too good not to spread, so look for a T-Shirt in my Zazzle Store soon.

The new name for Thursday is... Friday Eve! 

Think about it, how much work gets done on Christmas Eve or New Years Eve?  Yeah, because you're staring ahead at a holiday, you're laid back. So, similarly, by calling Thursday by the name "Friday Eve" we are similarly welcoming the weekend a whole day earlier. The fact that it comes no earlier is immaterial to the discussion as the state of mind created is the most important thing.

Friday Eve... commit it to memory.

Tilde Morrow

I've done punctuated so many blogs that I'm dangerously close to getting an A- for over punctuation, nay gratuitous punctuation.  That won't stop me from talking untilde blue in the face. 

Yes, I'm talking about the tilde ~ or the thing that allow the wicked smiley face.  Sure, many people go all :P or :p to show off the tongue, but really that's a :| with an attitude...nothing flirtatious going on, it's more like sour raspberries than anything else.  

Now the tilde on the other hand is the Gene Simmons of punctuation tongue. :)~ is flirty and dirty. I'm smiling AND giving you a little tongue.

So what the heck is the tilde all about anyway?

The tilde ( /ˈtɪldə/,  /ˈtɪldi/; ˜ or ~ ) is a grapheme with several uses. The name of the character comes from Portuguese and Spanish, from the Latin titulus meaning "title" or "superscription", though the term "tilde" has evolved and now has a different meaning in linguistics

This symbol (in English) sometimes means "approximately", such as "~30 minutes ago" meaning "approximately 30 minutes ago".^[2] It can mean "similar to",^[3] including "of the same order of magnitude as",^[4] such as "x ~ y" meaning that x and y are of the same order of magnitude. Another approximation symbol is ≈, meaning "approximately equal to."^[5][6][3][2]

So in a nutshell, the tilde is an approximation of the tongue in a smiley face.

Pro Bowl before Super Bowl

I know that this is like talking about Politics or Religion at the dinner table or the water cooler, so I am treading very lightly into this delicate subject. I feel that I have an important voice on this issue and I can stay silent no longer.

Long tradition has been that the Pro Bowl was played the week after the Super Bowl in Hawaii, but the evil (really bad, think rhymes with devil) Commissioner Roger Goodell in his attempts to ruin the game through "fairness" and "non malevolent" play has added one more thing to his insidious attack on the Nations pastime. (Oh, please, baseball? Really?) His "brilliant" move was to place the Pro Bowl between the league divisional championships and the Super Bowl in what was once a 2 week preparation time.

I know you're asking, how can the players get enough rest following the divisional championship and the Super Bowl, if they have to play a game in the middle.  Well, don't worry, because the players that are going to appear in the Super Bowl are disqualified from playing in the Pro Bowl.

WHAT!?! How can it be considered a game featuring the best players at their respective positions, if the players from the two best teams are banned from playing? It can't!

The uncomfortable reality is that this is a popularity contest anyway.  I would suspect that Peyton Manning who did not play a down of football this year probably received more votes than Blane Gabbert who was the rookie quarterback for the Jacksonville Jaguars who played a lot more downs than zero.

This was a move to capture ratings and eliminate the week between those two important weekends having no football. I say let's play a true BCS championship game that weekend and move the Pro Bowl back to its rightful place the weekend after the Super Bowl.  Reward the players and allow the Super Bowl team players the chance to be honored by their selection to the squad.

But what do I know, I'm still for allowing tackling.

The Eight Scariest Words

"I might just have to blog about this!"

Becoming an influential media figure as I am has allowed to me push my weight around just a bit. Of course, who am I kidding, I'm the 80lb blog weakling who gets sand kicked in his face at the beach. But in one way, people know I am serious in my humorous use of the English language.

I recently had a conversation with a friend where she was asking my opinion about a rather extensive topic. As I began the discussion of the issue and lead off by saying that the topic was not covered easily or completely by this blog writer, her immediate reaction was, "I don't want to end up in your blog!"

Now, I have deliberately been vague about the topic and the person as I don't want to have any finger pointing amongst my 7 readers as to which of them this was and having already referred to her as "she" so that cuts it down even more significantly. I'll just say that this likely didn't happen with a regular reader.

The feeling was a bit thrilling to know that I had generated some fear of my mighty pen computer iPad writing. Whether that fear was well-placed is as yet to be determined.

Until next we meet, my friends...

...where you may hear me discussing Toll House Cookies...