Its starts as a small misplaced tuft.
Then it looks like untrimmed nose hairs.
It works its way into slowly creeping sideburns.
BAMM! Teenwolf.
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| Michael J. Fox, Wolfin'... before it was sexy |
It has been a while since I got to teach my first "little boy" how to shave with a 2 blade Bic disposable. Then, unlike now, he could shave once every 2 months and get away with it. Now as he goes through this stage of his manhood, he needs a shave more frequently. I got him a real razor, one with a little heft in his hand, 5 blades of awesome cutting power with just enough of a gooey strip on the front that he could "dry shave" if necessary.
For those of you that haven't heard of this, tune in (or in the case of you men, turn in, as in your
man card) as I tell you about it. Who doesn't remember Bill Duke (awesome name) in Predator with his Bic? Back in the day before the "glide strip" this guy was shaving with just his sweat as the lubricant between the razor and his skin! That is the ultimate in dry shaving. Today, it is a bit easier with the glide strip that comes on most razors. Though it isn't recommended by the makers, dry shaving is born of the day that you aren't as on-time as you had hoped and don't have time for a full shaving experience.
The dry shave is akin to the "spit bath" which isn't nearly as disgusting as it sounds. The theory on the spit bath is once again, you don't have time to complete a full shower (clearly we have too much going on in the morning, or we just like our beauty sleep) so you cut a corner. Who needs water beating down on you when a simple wet washcloth will take the required layer of crud off. Now we guys can get crud in lots of unmentionable places, but the theory is any place with hair is going to be stink village, so concentration on those areas is key to the spit bath. The spit bath used in conjunction with a little cologne is the key to getting through the day.
You: well we're almost presentable within a limited time window, this is amazing!
Me: but wait, there's more!
We've dealt with your facial hair and your body odor, but what about your clothes? Many guys will talk about their experiences with flip-siding and free-balling but both are relatively disgusting and won't leave you feeling any cleaner. The important concept to glean here is "dryer-clean." Favorite work pants in the dryer with a dryer sheet for 5 minutes...like new. Favorite shirt a little wrinkled? Same thing only with a damp washcloth. If you followed my advice from above, I know you've got one of those. I do recommend that you rinse and wring before deploying it to the dryer if you've used it in the spit bath. Now, keep I mind that if you've competed in some competitive contact sport, this technique isn't going to work for those clothes, trust my personal experience there.
All these tips are tried and proven, did I miss any that you have used?
I'd like to say that I haven't dipped into the archive, but this was too good and on topic for the dudes over at DudeWrite. You should check us out there. Read a few posts and leave a comment. Come back and vote on Tuesday (Monday night if you're prompt) Vote for me before I get a complex about being unloved.
I once dry shaved on my way to a funeral, while driving an 18 wheeler, with a single blade Schick that I got at a convenience store. I can still feel the burning. My mother luckily had some cold cream to take the sting out when I got there, but the memory is still fresh, and it happened probably 15 years ago.
ReplyDeleteYeah, even the cheap razors have come a long way.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you can truly call yourself a man unless you have survived the "dry-shave" at least once in your life. I used to dry shave all the time until I perfected the "shower-shave." Now I blindly shave in the shower, and then do some minor touch-ups in the mirror afterwards. I've gotten so good at it, that most times I don't need a touch-up at all. Not only does it save time, but saves $$$ on those costly man-products.
ReplyDeleteNice one Wiley!
Michael A. Walker
Defying Procrastination
I keep a 4 blade (yay advances in technology!) disposable Bic in my desk at work for those, "crap, I have a face-to-face with the boss and didn't shave this morning," moments. The dry-shave is a brutal part of being a guy, one of the only bad parts I think. Great stuff WilyGuy
ReplyDeleteGee, the education I get at Dude Write! I now understand what the phrase 'free-balling' means, but I'm still trying to figure out what flip-siding is. Google apparently doesn't know, either...it thinks it's something to do with construction, but I can at least figure out by context that's probably not what you meant :)
ReplyDeleteGee, the education I get at Dude Write! I now understand what the phrase 'free-balling' means, but I'm still trying to figure out what flip-siding is. Google apparently doesn't know, either...it thinks it's something to do with construction, but I can at least figure out by context that's probably not what you meant :)
ReplyDeleteHaha, so glad we can increase your vocabulary. Flip-siding is wearing the drawers inside out, usually before the free balling.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sean, I think work is the worst place to have to dry shave.
ReplyDeleteThe shower shave is the best by far. I have a mirror in my shower to get it right.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's SO much better than what I was imagining!
ReplyDeleteTry shaving with Olive Oil. It's badass. It doesn't dry you out, sicks to your skin better than shaving foam/gel, and you can stop and dip some bread on your face if you get hungry mid-shave. I switched about 3 years ago, and I'm never going back.
ReplyDeleteHahaha olive oil on my face....sounds like a Popeye joke.
ReplyDeleteI don't care how much of a man you are, dry shaving sucks! I work in a factory so appearance is not an issue. And so I keep shaving to a minimum...once a week, just enough to keep the wolf away!
ReplyDeleteHeard that!
ReplyDeleteOne of the joys of not being able to grow facial hair....not having to shave everyday.
ReplyDeleteBaby Face Kevin, eh?
ReplyDeleteSucks in a way, but like my shaved head makes life easier in many ways.
I have really sensitive skin, so this one hits close to home. Sometimes, even after taking a hot shower and applying tons of shaving cream, I still beat the hell out of my face.
ReplyDeleteLike Youngman, I have very sensitive skin as well. I went to a Catholic high school, and on a few occasions, they'd catch me with a little scruff and send me to the bathroom with nothing but a one-blade Bic. Needless to say, I return to class looking like Freddy Krueger.
ReplyDeleteGet a mirror in your shower, I swear it's the best.
ReplyDeleteOuch!
ReplyDelete