Monday, October 29, 2012

Glinting in the Sun

When I saw it, I nearly cried.

Glinting in the sun, recently unearthed as I labored to plant new roses in my garden.

It's loss had paved the way to more losses. Its loss unremembered, unexplained...so contrary to the promise it represented, a promise that required loss of the finger if the ring was lost.

It had been replaced, but the damage was done.

The accusations, the luggage, the damage in haste to the roses so lovingly grown.

Discovered as I planted the new roses, the memories of it came flooding back and then unleashed a flood of salty tears.

 

Dude Write

I am participating in the monthly flash fiction challenge at Dude Write, the place where dudes write and compete. October's challenge had 500 words to tell a story that begins with "When I saw it, I nearly cried." I told mine in an even 100. I hope you like it. Head over, read the other entries and vote on the 1st.

 

16 comments:

  1. Very evocative words. I had to take a deep breath when I saw this picture because that's my exact wedding band in the photo. Your story made me feel like I'd lost it.

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  2. Well written, the emotions brought about in so few words, Man all I can say is well done.

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  3. Well done sir, shows one doesn't need to nearly use up all 500 words to strike a chord!

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  4. Sorry that it hit so close!

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  5. But will it be enough? lol.

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  6. It's my precious!



    Well done, and in fewer than the 500 words! Who needs 500 words when you can sum it up like this?

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  7. Shivers! Well done, sir! I really love the implications of the fifth paragraph, "The accusations, the luggage..." Nice!

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  8. Well haven't you done well this spoke to me and that is the best writing when it speaks to a reader..........

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  9. Thanks Dan, it just came out that way. I will admit to adjusting just a little to get exactly 100.

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  10. Thanks Heather, I was hoping the staccato word bursts would be effective.

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  11. Thanks Jo-Anne. I appreciate the kind words!

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  12. Nice man. Next time make the finger be cut off :)

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