Saturday, February 9, 2013

Drowning

"Face on Mars" source: Wikipedia


This is my 267 word response to February's flash fiction challenge over at Dude Write. Each story can be no more than 500 words. This month is a picture prompt called Face on Mars.

As you will read, mine is a different interpretation. Here is Drowning.

 

 

 

 

He looked out on the water. He contemplated a swim. He could slip over the side and enjoy the coolness of the water on this hot night. He dared not dive for at low tide, there was no danger of him drowning, but the water was shallow enough that he could likely stand. He couldn't see the bottom, but knew it was close. Diving would also be loud and he didn't want her to know...

"Don't stand there!" Those were the last words he had heard.

Slightly inebriated and quite perturbed by the barked order from his wife, Daniel was determined ever more to stand his ground. He would win this small battle.

Who was she to decide where he could be? She was so controlling, probably wanted to pick out his clothes, nay actually dress him. She didn't allow him to eat whatever he wanted, said it would make him fat and eventually kill him. The cocktails he so loved, she no longer prepared for him. As he glanced in her direction, he wondered if the look on her face was one of horror, or possibly concern. It didn't matter much, she had learned to lie with her expression. She was expert in hiding her feelings.

Fast were the thoughts running through his tired and oxygen depleted brain. The brain that had long decided it had no control over the body.

Who knew that the swinging boom of a sailboat could move so swiftly, break so cleanly, fell a man so easily?

The sea floor churned with each rescue boat passing him over, covering him more.

 

9 comments:

  1. Ouch! The one time one should listen, right? :D Those Daniels never learn!

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  2. Wow. I would have never thought to go that direction. Great post.

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  3. Damn didn't see that coming..............

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  4. I actually named the character and didn't think about it until I posted it. Then I figured you'd get a kick out of it!
    Was my ending too subtle or did you get it?

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  5. See...right up until you asked that question I thought I followed the story, now I'm no longer sure :D - was this somehow metaphorical or a guy taking the stand at the wrong time and getting knocked over?

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  6. Thanks Brett, are you going to write one?

    WG

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  7. Victory! I love it when I can do that for ya.

    WG

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  8. Wow, what a cool direction you took this story!

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  9. Thanks Man, it was what I saw in the picture.


    WG

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