Mental (a)Ward

"She hates me," he thought as he read through the post. It should have read Happy VD Day. Worse than your favorite STD, this is.

He knew how this worked, having been its victim twice before. He recovered from it only through enduring its worst.

Part of it was the things it forced him to excrete, 11 things to be precise. Things like Cremation, Japan, Rudy, Pinky & the Brain, Fondue, 9, 19, 18, Canada, Heaven, and Buried Alive.

And those were just half of it...the second half, they had to be paired with things like Favorite Food, Driver's License Age, Greatest Animation Show, Age of Sexual Enlightenment (with a woman this time), Deepest Fear, Favorite Movie, My Afterlife Plans, Soccer Number, Destination Visited, Destination Planned, and Destination Desired not necessarily in that order.

This delightful blogger, this Kate Whine Hall over at Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine thinks as highly of this plague as I do, yet tweezed (a tweet sneeze) it in my direction!

Apparently, the secret incantation for its removal involves these 11 things.

1. What’s the grossest thing you’ve found in your kid’s mouth?

A bloody hole that dangled a tooth from it, you can read about it here.

2. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve found in your food?

Lima Beans, who would put such disgusting things in perfectly edible food.

3. What’s the most unique thing you’ve ever eaten?

I ate live ants in high school as well as a worm. I have also eaten turtle soup.

4. What is one of your worst habits?

Sighing. It's a natural stress reliever, but it makes people think I'm exasperated.

5. What’s one of your significant other’s worst habits that they’re willing to let you share with the entire universe?

I'm not allowed to share.

6. What is your favorite form of social media?

Facebook

7. What social media brings the most people to your blog?

DudeWrite.

8. What movie are you embarrassed to admit you love?

Lately, Pitch Perfect.

9. Whose blog are you totally jealous of? (like anyone is going to answer this)

All blogs are different. I'm jealous of Youngman Brown's audience. I'm jealous of Telling Dad's ability to make any story funny. I'm jealous of Kate Whine Hall because she can get a punny blog name out of it.

10. What was the last lie you told?

Not THAT jealous of Kate :)

11. I can’t think of anything else, make up your own.

Me neither.

Yes, I've been Lieberated! Unfortunately for you, this is highly contagious. Despite the medical mask I am wearing and the condom I have placed on the blog, I fear it will escape to the following people who have very readable blogs. Reading them also has the side effect of milk coming out of your nose and wetting your depends with a full bladder. Those are not symptoms of the Liebster.

 

I Blog Your Mom Bryan Jones Diary Ken-inatractor Whoa Susannah

Jeneral Insanity America's Next Top Mommy Angie Uncovered Jeezy Brown

Brilliant Title Simply She Goes Good Youngman Brown

 

Here are the rules, if you want to participate (I’m totally okay with you blowing this off):

1. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.

2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, and then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.

3. Choose 11 new bloggers (with less than 200 followers (whatever!)) to pass the award to and link them in your post.

4. Go back to their page and tell them about the award.

5. No tag backs.

Kate's questions for me, that I am far too lazy to change, should you choose to participate:

1. What’s the grossest thing you’ve found in your kid’s mouth?

2. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve found in your food?

3. What’s the most unique thing you’ve ever eaten?

4. What is one of your worst habits?

5. What’s one of your significant other’s worst habits that they’re willing to let you share with the entire universe?

6. What is your favorite form of social media?

7. What social media brings the most people to your blog?

8. What movie are you embarrassed to admit you love?

9. Whose blog are you totally jealous of? (like anyone is going to answer this)

10. What was the last lie you told?

11. I can’t think of anything else, make up your own.