Curse words %^*><#!$&!

CAUTION: May Contain Vague and Non-Vaguean References to God.

Reading of this blog may cause extreme itching by anyone allergic to God or who may be agnostic or atheistic in their non-beliefs.

I thought about titling this, the 7 words you can't say in church, but my respect for the late and great George Carlin prohibits that plagiarism. He was truly a genius with words and word-play. If it is true that the pen is mightier than the sword and that as a reference to the power of words, well Mr. Carlin was a ninja samurai (which at some point in my life I want both words in my job title).

Anyway, you're spell bound to see what I am up to in this version of the Mynd. You're dying to know if I am going to curse in my blog...AND after the God disclaimer. I cheated and I already have cursed in the last paragraph... See if you can find it.

I'll bet my buddy Richard after checking on his pregnant dog and even after his long day searching for edible fungus, he'll find it, although perhaps not.

Dick... Bitch... Shiitake mushrooms... But

Damn, I mean Egads!

Before all the feathers become unglued and people start calling me, let's talk about belching. Would your mom have let you get away with it at dinner? Unless you're Chinese, my guess is no. That's the business side of a backhand making it's way to a face near you. In China, slurping and belching are considered acceptable forms of indicating your appreciation for good food... No, explaining that to mom WON'T help.

Words are words and nothing more.  Rush Limbaugh says "Words mean things" and in the context of a paragraph he is right.  Let's take a look at the reasons we might not be allowed to curse.

1. Mom says it isn't OK. - Well, I can probably stop here for a lot of people.  What Mom says is the law when you are growing up.  Of course, like seeing the Police speed down the road with their kids in the car, hearing Mom curse suddenly opens up a world of possibility.

2. Society says it isn't OK. - P-lease Playa, if anything Society is moving in the opposite direction.  I think about the things that you saw in movies when I was growing up.  Now I have to endure Paul Bettany's behind in a PG-13 movie.  Attempts by Tipper Gore to censor the music industry seem to have just made it worse in that "hey, we can put this little sticker on our album and say whatever we want" way.

3. God says it isn't OK. - Well, I'll admit to not being a bible professor, but I haven't seen a list of words we shouldn't say.  God is pretty clear about using His name in vain.  Frankly, I haven't found asking the creator to send someone to eternal damnation in His name has ever worked out well for me anyway.  The Bible talks about a concept called "edifying" which loosely translates into, 'into an arse, doeth not make thyself.'

So Words mean things in combination with this concept of edifying roughly translates to "Scott, you're wrong in your premise."

Carter: Do YOU understand the words that are comin' outta my mouth?

I'd like to wrap this all up in a nice package with a bow for you.  Welcome "condition of your heart" as a concept.  So before you hit your thumb with a hammer and say 'SUGAR!' or 'DANG!' and long before your co-worker does something brainless and you cry out 'SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!' let's stop.  We aren't buying it.  We KNOW what you meant to say. Do you think that calling the guy who cut you off Jerk, Idiot, or Imbecile is any better than one of the words you didn't say?  It is the condition of your heart light and airy, or heavy and hurt?

My message today is that when someone says a curse word, measure the light and airy, and when they cry out an obvious "non-curse" measure the heavy and hurt.  Don't automatically be a Jackwagon.  Yeah, I said Jackwagon!




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