Save the Dead Dinosaurs!

Or a Rage Against the AT&T Machine!

"You need a data plan for an iPhone," the minimum wage shill for AT&T tells me.

Me: Why?

Shill: Because you have an iPhone and you need a data plan.

Me: But I don't need data.

Shill: a data plan is required for an iPhone.

 

I've Got Internet in My Pocket and Am Happy to See You!

Not too long ago, Mrs. Mynd upgraded from an older 8GB iPhone 3 to a new iPhone 4S. As you might imagine, this turned Shaggy into an iPhone begging machine. We had no intention of arming a 14 year old with an iPhone and data plan.

I'm sure that all the Porn YouTube homework that won't get done as a result of my 14 year old not having the internet in his pocket at all times is considerable, and of course, my fault.

At a coincidentally well timed karmic time, Princess Sassy Pants had her iPod die. It was a 2GB model that we got from eBay 2 years ago and it was slowly dying in many ways. It reached its end around this same time.

In a moment of pure brilliance and selflessness, Shaggy suggested that he would willingly trade his iPod to his sister and use the iPhone as an iPod touch. He would be able to use it as his iPod, while using the wifi in the house to use educational games and productivity apps. He really is a brilliant and generous child.

As if to add to all the cosmic karma, Shaggy was eligible for an upgrade to his LG Neon phone. Because he was limited on our plan without a data plan, his selections from what can only be described as the "the plan holder hates you and everything you stand for Wall of Shame" were limited. I would be vastly emphasizing the qualities to these phones if I compared them to my calculator. Their feel and heft is at about the level of a toddler's toy. Now, Shaggy needed a newer phone if only because his current phone can't hold a long charge and the cost of a new battery was probably going to exceed any upgrade price we might pay.

I'm Green, why you gotta be so Brown?

This Internet thing isn't endless or unlimited, right? It's like oil, only so many dinosaurs died and are decaying at a rate constant enough to fuel the Internet. At our current usage rate, we will run out of Internet in 2 years, 7 months, 5 days, 3 hours, 29 minutes, 37 seconds and counting folks!

So our deliberations over shuffling iPods from Shaggy to PSP, and letting Shaggy use an iPhone as an iPod, in combination with needing to get Shaggy a new phone led us to a conclusion.

If Shaggy got an iPhone, he would be carrying it all the time...

...like a phone, only in addition to his phone.

Then inspiration struck. Why couldn't we just put the SIM card from his Neon into the older generation iPhone? He would have the iPod, and a phone... We don't want him to have Internet outside the house, which there are blocks on the account to prevent...WIN!

A quick test proved that what we wanted to do worked. IPod all the time, phone all the time, no Internet unless on WiFi, excellent!

Until today, when a text message arrived stating that :

AT&T Free Msg: Did you know a data plan is required for your iPhone? For whatever reason, our records indicate your iPhone did not have the correct data plan. We have added the appropriate data plan. Call 611 or go to www.att.com/dataplans for info.

Seriously AT&T?!?!

I hear that AT&T is moving 4G by using VOIP, and thus phones need a data plan to make that work. Two points to make here you electronic data nazis... 1. So the 3G isn't 4G, so naturally I couldn't use that technology right? So I am exempt. 2. Why am I paying for "minutes?" Since my iPad has a data plan and a microphone and speakers, I can make calls from that device right?

Now, many of you are correct in your assertion that AT&T was one of the last carriers to adopt this predatory practice. You probably didn't use the word "predatory" but this was your assertion? My mama used to say "if all your friends jump off a bridge does that mean you should too?"

If Microsoft was mandated to decouple Internet Explorer from the Windows operating system, this is not a far cry to go to demand data plan requirements be dropped.

AT&T, you do realize that his Neon could have had a data plan, right? He could have have had email and internet and porn and YouTube on that device, right?

Why didn't you alert me that I was denying my child the data plan so desperately needed there?!?!

I'm saving electricity by not having two devices where one will suffice. I'm not burdening your network thereby allowing my fellow citizens to use more Internet and I saved our landfills from being filled with yet another castoff electronics device.

I'm trying to do my part, why won't you help me save the dead dinosaurs?